Candy (and Sometimes Food) Smugglers

Not my purse; nor my pick of sweets.I’m not sure if it’s illegal, but Chris and I usually smuggle candy (and sometimes food) into movie theaters. If the prices weren’t so ridiculously inflated, we would gladly buy from the theaters. But when a small soda at a theater costs more than a 2-liter soda bottle at Publix, I’d say the theaters are doing the robbing.

Usually, I’m the culprit who has to do the smuggling with my oversized purse, making me feel like I’m doing something naughty.

But because I forgot my basketball-sized purse at home during our last movie outing, our food-smuggling escapade was more creative than usual.

We had to stuff Chris’ coat pockets with our Subway subs — we hadn’t eaten all day — and strap his Coke and my Ice Tea bottle around his waist with his belt. Luckily, his coat is big enough to fit a 250-pound man, so the hidden goods weren’t easily detectable.

However, Chris was paranoid because he looked like he gained 50 pounds. So much so he’d snap whenever I wandered too far from his side. (He thought the closer I stood to him, the less absurdly obese he looked. Not true.)

But we made it, passed an attendant ripping ticket stubs and a security guard, unnoticed.

We felt less guilty after an elderly woman to the left of Chris reassuringly swayed a bag of non-theater peppermints and smiled at him after seeing us unload our subs and drinks.

“It’s just too expensive,” she agreed.

It’s nice to know we aren’t the only food-smuggling moviegoers.

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